Guest Post with Amber Meigs Drummond: Contentedness in a Discontented World

Contentment is a commodity that is scarce in the world we are living in. People aren’t content with their marriages, jobs, or how much money they make. The world never seems to be satisfied with what they have, but are always looking for the next big thing. We tend to grumble and complain when things don’t go our way. In his commentary on Philippians, John MacArthur writes, “Discontentment and complaining are attitudes that can become so habitual that they are hardly noticed.” He goes on to say that these sins indicate a lack of trust in God’s will, wisdom, grace, and love.

Now, I should say that contentment is not the same thing as happiness. We can be happy without being content, and we can be content without always being happy. We’re not going to be happy every single minute of every day, but we CAN choose to be content. However, the only way we can find true contentment is through Jesus. I feel like God has given me the gift of contentment, but I do still have to choose to be content. I’ll share a few examples of ways my family and I have become content in certain situations.

I met my husband Cory when I was 15 years old. We got married three and a half years later, and we celebrated ten years of marriage this past December. We now have 3 beautiful children (Carson-8, Alaina-5, & Aralyn- 21 months). I have been and will always be content with the fact that he is the only man I’ve ever dated (which is a very strange concept nowadays). I don’t feel like I missed out on anything though, because I know that God made me for him. We balance each other out perfectly. For example, God knew I would need a man with time management skills because I have none. Cory doesn’t like change, and I adapt well to change. Cory likes routines and I’m more “go with the flow.” Cory was a worrier (he’s gotten better) and I don’t worry- like hardly ever.

I think contentment in God’s plan helps me not worry. There have been a few times when I felt bad for not worrying. When Carson was about 6 months old, Cory started pastoring the church we still attend. Within a few months of being there and by God’s providence, a doctor found a knot on Cory’s thyroid. The doctor removed it the day before our third anniversary, and it turned out to be cancer. With a few treatments, everything turned out fine and he’s been cancer free for almost 7 years now! Sometimes I wonder if I’m just apathetic, but I really had no doubts that God would work everything out for good.

When our second child was born, we decided that it would be beneficial for our family if I stayed home with our children. I had worked as a teacher for a year and a half so we were used to two incomes. We knew that if we were going to make this work, we would have to make sacrifices and cut out several expenses- like going out to eat a lot and just buying things we didn’t need. I started making my kids’ birthday cakes instead of buying them. I have a nice camera so I take their pictures instead of having them made. Instead of going on shopping sprees, I started going to consignment sales to get my kids’ clothes and shoes. (I always go on the half off days and find several really cute clothes!) My kids are even content in this: Alaina LOVES getting “new” clothes and shoes from Birmingham! What we’ve done may not work for your family, but our family is content in living this way.

When Cory and I found out we were having a third child, we began discussing homeschooling. We had thought about it a little but hadn’t made any definite decisions. We wanted a Christian education for our children and knew we couldn’t afford to send all three kids to a Christian school in our area that we had been considering on one income, so we started looking into homeschool programs and curriculums. Through friends, God led us to Classical Conversations and we haven’t looked back! I love that I am their teacher, and that we get to spend all this time together and learn all of our material, which centers on knowing God and making Him known. Now, I’m not saying some days aren’t stressful or that my house is spotless (with 3 kids at home all day, I think that would be impossible!). On days when I struggle, He gives me the strength to overcome, and I am content that this is where God wants me to be right now. This is the ministry He has given me and I must use it to bring Him glory!

Contentment is an internal decision we have to make. It would be easy to always want more things, designer clothes, the best phones, or for the next stage of our lives to get here quickly. But, we are commanded to be content (Hebrews 13:5). So, how can we choose contentment?

• ·         Be confident in God’s providence in our lives and be satisfied with little. Know that He’ll provide for our needs (not wants) as long as we live.
• ·         Experience and spiritual maturity can help us learn to be content in any circumstance.
• ·         Realize that God will strengthen us through His power, but only if we are living lives of obedience. “Those whose continued sin has led them into the pit of despair cannot expect God to bring them contentment from their circumstances,” states John MacArthur.
• ·         Lastly, be concerned for others. If we live only for ourselves, we would only be content when everything is exactly as we want it to be- which will never happen: we will always want more.

We have to rest in God’s sovereignty - nothing is outside of His control. “He made from one man every nation of mankind to live on all the face of the earth, having determined their appointed times and the boundaries of their habitation, that they would seek God, if perhaps they might grope for Him and find Him, though He is not far from each one of us” (Acts 17:26-27). Do you see the awesomeness? God, the Creator of the universe, determined when and where YOU would live…He placed you in the exact time you’re in, with your family, in your region, etc. so you could bring Him the glory that He deserves. Also, that hopefully we would repent of our wicked sins and turn to God to place our faith in the work of His Son Jesus Christ on the cross for the salvation of our souls. He lived a perfect, sinless life, became the sacrifice and took on the punishment we deserve, and defeated death so we can live as one with Him. How can we, if we are children of God, not be content in that assurance?

As a closing thought, as Christians we must not look like the world, we must stand out, we must refrain from complaining, and we must be content so that we can be lights in the world.

“Do all things without grumbling or disputing; so that you will prove yourselves to be blameless and innocent, children of God above reproach in the midst of a crooked and perverse generation, among whom you appear as lights in the world,” Philippians 2:14-15.

“Not that I speak from want, for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need. I can do all things through Him who strengthens me. Nevertheless, you have done well to share with me in my affliction,” Philippians 4:11-14.

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Guest Post with Amber Meigs Drummond: Contentedness in a Discontented World

Humble Pie: Sometimes We All Need a Slice

Ashley Oliver Photography

On Facebook the other day, a friend shared a story about her daughter humiliating her. Honestly, when I began reading, I thought the story was going to be somewhere on the lines of her little girl sharing a piece of information to the world that would be somewhat embarrassing. (If my memory serves me right, I believe I did this to my dear ole mama from time to time, but I digress.)

However, she went on to explain that she didn't believe her daughter when she said she had let the bath water out of the bath tub, but she actually had. This, in turn, made the mom feel like she needed to apologize. Because of her mistake, she took the time to sit down and tell her daughter that sometimes mamas and daddies mess up and need to apologize. So actually, the daughter humiliated her mama in a way that left the mother humbled, and humility is a perfect place for God to work.

I'm thankful for this lady's honesty in sharing this little bit of her life because how many of us have been wrong before with our kiddos? This little story sent me straight back in time to when I felt the need to apologize to my little boy for a mistake that I had made.

Isaac has some difficulty expressing his thoughts sometimes, so he doesn't always get out what he's thinking. He had told me he needed to use the bathroom, but when we got in there, it appeared as if he had already gone! I was so upset because we had worked so hard with potty training (a year ago this month to be exact), and here I was thinking that we were taking a step backward. So I got on my knees, looked at him in the eyes, and said, "Isaac, did you go potty in your pants? Tell me the truth. Did you?"

He just stared at me and said, "No."

I kept pressing him and asking him, "No, you're going to tell me. Did you do it? You know you're not supposed to. You go to the bathroom in the potty. You know that."

The tone of my voice had him tearing up. "No," he said again as he shook his head. He just stared at me and then at the ground. He looked defeated. He looked like my heart felt.

By this time, I was too frustrated to argue. Fear was gripping me. We had just brought Caroline home, and he had been having some trouble adjusting. It seemed like he wasn't eating hardly anything at all, craving attention, he was starting to wake up at night sometimes, and now this? Potty training was something I was not prepared to tackle again. It had made me a nervous wreck the first time! (One hormonal meltdown, coming right up!)

"Lord, I can't handle this, too. Not with a new baby."  I took a deep breath and looked at his pants. They were obviously wet. I had seen all I needed to see, right? The truth was there, and my mind had made itself up. But when I looked at the back of his pants and underneath, I saw that he was dry. I looked at him again and said, "Isaac, do you have to go to the bathroom?"

He nodded his head for yes.

Then it dawned on me. Relief. He had been playing in the rain puddles outside, and because he likes to get down on his belly and push his trucks, the front of his pants and bottom of his shirt were wet. I should've seen this, but I was too tired, too exhausted to prevent myself from jumping to conclusions. How often do we do this with God? How often has the truth been right in front of us, but our vision has been clouded with fear and anxiety, causing us to search for our own answers and rely on our own superficial conclusions? How often do we forget to stop and let God take the reins?

So, in tears, I got down on my knees and said, "Isaac, why couldn't you just tell me? Why couldn't you just say, 'No, Mama. I didn't potty in my pants.' Why didn't you just tell me? I'm so sorry."

And after this, he looked me straight in the eyes and said so clearly, "I don't know what to say."

In that moment I sat back against the tub, laughed/cried, and began thinking, "Lord, he told the truth! How many times have I done this? How many times have I been wrong as a parent? How many times have I jumped to conclusions instead of simply trusting?" I had made something small and insignificant into a mountain I wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared to climb. I felt terrible and found myself questioning, yet again, my ability to be a good mom.

After he went to the bathroom, we hugged, and with a smile he said, "Wanna go outside?"

How easily he forgot my mistake. How innocent his heart. How strong his love. 

That teachable moment turned into a discovery of God's miraculous, healing love, the power of our relationship, and the extent of his love for me, for us all. How many times has He willingly forgiven me and wiped away my tears, always showing me the innocence of a child when I show him my faults...faults He is already aware of but promises to forget once I beg him to? How many times has his love been revealed to me when I crumble and say, "I'm sorry."? But that's the beauty of God. He desires our humility--that of a child to be exact!

"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." Matthew 18: 3-5

Ladies, my prayer for us today is that like the little children Jesus speaks of in Matthew, we find the humility within us to kneel at Jesus's feet for every desire, every need...that we discover God's teachable moments are all around us, each and every day. How thankful I am of Jesus modeling what forgiveness and grace looks like for me--for my sake. Because of his healing, forgiving nature, I can search within to find those same qualities in myself. Because of his example of grace and mercy, I can recognize in myself the kind of wife and parent I need to be. Does that mean I won't ever have to work at it? No. Does that mean I won't mess up? Absolutely not! Psalms 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." He is more than enough! When we lose control...lose faith...He is there to mend our flesh and our hearts.

Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Just as my heart pleaded for my little boy to explain the truth that day, God wants us to come to him and pour our hearts out to him. Our babies need to see us needing God, calling on him, seeking his help, wisdom, discipline, and forgiveness when we slip. This way, they will willingly find the desire to welcome that into their own lives with us as their parents, and ultimately, with God as their savior. 

"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea." Micah 7: 18-19

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Humble Pie: Sometimes We All Need a Slice

Guest Post with Jessica Roberts: Count It All as Joy

Growing up I was such a tomboy. I never wanted Barbie dolls or baby dolls…gross! I wanted a four wheeler, a new softball bat, Nintendo 64, any kind of sports apparel was right down my alley. I still have scars on my legs from years of volleyball, basketball, and softball games. But you know growing up not being a “girly girl” did not change the fact I still dreamed of one day finding my prince, having children, designing my dream home, and having my life all together by 25 (the magic number). I grew up around amazing and strong women, and I desired to one day be an amazing mother. I never thought that becoming that amazing mother would be harder than I could have ever imagined.

My tears have been my food day and night, while men say to me all day long, "Where is your God?" Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God. (Psalm 42: 3-5)

Let me tell you about tears. They come often and seems like at the age of 30, they started flowing. Hormones? Yes, hormones mixed together with two miscarriages within two months. December 1st, 2016, and February 14th, 2017, are two dates that will forever be etched into my mind. All together making three total miscarriages for me and my husband. We went from battling infertility to discovering a new battle with miscarriage. My husband would always refer to me as the strong one, but I began to realize I was tired of being strong. I was tired of being tired. 

One day I looked in the mirror after our most recent loss and realized "I look 12 weeks pregnant." But the baby that should be there was no longer there. It was a feeling of true numbness. A feeling I fight every time I look in the mirror. I see an empty, bruised belly that went through a month of daily Heparin injections for nothing. Or was it for nothing? Did the injections get us to 8 weeks this pregnancy or did they hinder? Did I not stop working soon enough? Did I pick up something too heavy? My mind literally goes back and forth to the point I become lost in my own thoughts. Before turning to God, I ran straight to my husband with tears flowing because I wanted to know why. I called my best friend because she's a female. She will give me comfort with my why, right? But the entire time I should have turned straight to God. 

I often try to find peace with family and friends and forget my Father in heaven holds all the comfort I am searching for in this moment. When others are telling me, "It will happen in God's timing." (Which by the way is the worst thing to tell someone who just experienced a miscarriage. I mean do we tell someone who just lost a loved one, "I am sorry for your loss but it happened in God's timing."? No we absolutely do not.) God is telling me look up child and hold your focus on me. 

He knows and understands more than anyone that I have experienced a true loss. He tells me my tears are ok when in the moment I feel like I am crying all the time, and it is not normal. I find my peace in my alone time when I truly crawl up in his lap and just let it all out. I watched a wonderful movie recently, and one of my favorite scenes was when God bottled up the dad's tears. He was saving those tears for a special moment. I thought WOW. My tears are being saved up by my God for a wonderful and special moment in my life. Those same tears I mentioned at the beginning are going to turn into joyful tears. 

I want to share my story with miscarriage and infertility because I felt so alone when the process started. However, I replaced the feeling of being alone with Jesus. I turned my fear into praying for others going through the EXACT same thing I am going through. I turned my doubt into recognizing all of the many things God has blessed me with in my short 30 years of life on this Earth. My godmother told me, "You will find your healing in praying for others." And she was so right. 

Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, that you may abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13)

I know everyone grieves differently. Through my grieving process, I have spoken with women going through infertility and recent miscarriages, and I often hear the word bitter. Of course all of the women are not proud to admit it, but it is very common. I have to be honest. Bitterness is truly one of the hardest things for me to fight off because it is one of the enemy’s best tricks. I am currently in a small group, and we had a five week study on the four blockages of the heart. 

1. Selfishness

2. Bitterness

3. Rejection

4. Evil thoughts

I was asked which one of the four was I having the hardest time giving up control of in my life. I quickly answered bitterness. In my head I am justifying my bitterness. I am bitter because I will never know what my babies would have looked like. I am bitter because I never heard my baby’s heartbeat. I am bitter I never felt my baby kick. I am bitter I did not get to experience those moments with my husband, family, and friends. The most bitter of all bitterness is to get that punch to the stomach when someone announces her pregnancy. The enemy knows I am weak and wants me to sink and spiral out of control. However, I have other plans for the enemy. I will choose KINDNESS. 

Because through kindness, I can be a witness to others. Because if I remain bitter I will be more unyielding than a fortified city which we read in Proverbs 18:19. 

So how did I come to this realization? Josh and I had a rough start to a week. It was actually my first week back to work after being on medical leave for a month. We are not proud to admit this, but we often miss prayer service on Wednesday nights. So I asked him if could we have a date night and go to prayer. We walked in and found our nice little spot in the back with open seats on both sides of us. The music began to start, and out of the corner of my eye. I saw a man and his wife walk up with their baby and stand 3 seats from me. Sadly, my first thought was "Why is that baby not in the nursery?" And my second thought was “Really God? Why?” But soon the worship music started and I witnessed the man begin to sway back and forth, look up toward Heaven, and begin to worship. It all began to make sense. The Lord knew exactly what he was doing. I had never met the couple, so I do not know their story. But what if they have battled infertility as well? There was no question the man was truly praising God for his little miracle in his arms. Either way it was a beautiful image given to me by God because I chose kindness over bitterness.

My message is to encourage women experiencing the emptiness of a loss to take three daily steps: 

1. Submit yourself to God

2. Close any open doors

3. Confront your enemy daily PRAYER! PRAYER! PRAYER!

I have daily confrontations with the devil. Whether I am in my prayer closet or driving down the road. I have to remind myself… YOU ARE NO LONGER A SLAVE TO FEAR…YOU ARE A CHILD OF GOD! I know the pain of the loss will be with me until the day I die, but I will not allow the pain to overshadow all of my many blessings. 

When a negative thought wants to enter your mind, slam the door shut by shouting out a blessing. Every morning put on your armor of God and ask the Holy Spirit to give you wisdom.

“Put on the full armor of God so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not again flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.” (Ephesians 6:11-19)

"An Angel from the Book of Life wrote down our baby's birth and whispered as she closed the book...too beautiful for earth."

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Guest Post with Jessica Roberts: Count It All as Joy

More Than Mediocre

This past month was really hard. The stomach virus hit, and Caroline got an ear infection and RSV. Isaac woke up one night throwing up all over his bed at 2:00 o'clock in the morning, and bless his heart, we didn't go back to sleep that night. A week later, he got the crud and ran a fever for a few days. Caroline cut three teeth. Heath had a migraine one night and the stomach virus another. I got sick, too, and when Mama's sick, well, everybody's sick. February was the month of no sleep.

One of those crazy, chaotic nights in particular after I had gotten Caroline to sleep, I remember standing at the sink, elbow deep in medicine syringes, sippy cups, and bottles, when I had a sobering thought:

I don't remember who I used to be.

And for a minute it took my breath away because it scared me. It scared me and made me feel sad. I even felt a huff of anger and a flash of resentment. I was tired. I was exhausted. I thought about the load of laundry that I had forgotten about in the washing machine. I thought about the pile of towels that needed folding and the sucker wrappers in the car. I thought about the sticky hand prints on the front door, the trash that needed taken out, and the puffs littering the floor by the high chair. I thought about the half-eaten bag of Goldfish sitting on the counter. I thought about my morning coffee still in the microwave where I had tried to warm it up--three different times--and still forgot about it. I thought about all the places I had to be and all the things I had to do and I GOT REALLY SAD. I got sad because my babies were sick and I was tired and I just wanted a nap and please someone just let me wake up before the kids in the morning! I could feel the devil rising up inside me, and I knew he was rejoicing.

But then I heard something.

I heard a slow, steady voice talking in the back of the house. I took a deep breath and inched towards the hall. What I heard stopped my heart: Heath was praying with our son. It wasn't one of those Now-I-Lay-Me-Down-to-Sleep prayers; it was real, and I could feel love and power and strength and perseverance coming from that little room in the back of the house. Tears rolled down my face and I just felt so proud. I thought about our little town and our state and this big ole world and thought, "How many daddies are praying with their little boys tonight?" I felt such strength emanating from that room. God had allowed every bitter feeling to flee my mind in that swift instant. I felt so shameful for ever doubting the Lord in where he was taking me in this life. I felt so silly for thinking that my suffering could ever amount to anything our Lord and Savior has ever undergone. I scolded myself as I wiped away the tears and vowed to never take what I had for granted again.

Mamas, you aren't mundane. Not mediocre. Marvelous. Magnificent. That's what we are. 

My prayer for us this week, ladies, is that we will take what we see as the mundane, the mediocre, and realize that it's just a brush stroke in the painting of our lives. We aren't complete without each and every mark, each and every moment. It might seem tedious, boring, we might not even remember who we used to be back when life seemed to be full of excitement and spontaneity. But we are building something for our babies. Each and every moment, each time we discipline, each time we react can be a reflection of Christ, and we have to take that responsibility and respect it. When it feels like it's too much...when you feel overwhelmed and you know you're going to snap, just stop. Breathe. Pray. Even though we can't see the big picture, we can draw amazing strength from the small, tiny moments in our lives.

But be not thou far from me, O Lord: O my strength, haste thee to help me. Psalms 22:19



-Mallory

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More Than Mediocre