I know firsthand, because at the age of 36, I was diagnosed with stage 2 breast cancer.
I could tell you about the tests, the agony of waiting for answers, the procedures and treatments… but for this I have something more personal.
January 29, 2018
I received the call from my surgeon: "You have cancer."
Even though I was expecting this diagnosis, I was still shocked. I don’t remember much of what he said, but I remember being told that I was going to be okay, that their plan was to get me well so I never missed any of Eliza’s life events. As you can imagine, that was very important to the mom of a 4 year old.
My husband held me, and with words of comfort, he soothed my frightened heart.
Now at this point, I would have settled into the couch with a blanket and a box of tissues and cried into the night…. BUT the Lord had other plans for me.
First, my Father and Mother-in-law arrived. They hugged me and told me they would be here for me. They would help me in any way. We wouldn’t be alone in this season. James, my father-in-law, shared with me Romans 8:28… and this verse has been my hope.
"And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28No matter how hard things were, I had to believe that God was working "even this" for my good…for His good and His glory.
A little while later, my two sisters-in-law, Mallory and Alia, showed up with pizza, chips, snacks and all of their families. We were having a party… there would be no more crying that night. It turns out, you can still laugh and have fun, even when you just got the worst news of your life.
One of the best pieces of advice I received came from my father-in-law…
He told me that when gold is put in the fire, the man doesn’t walk away and allow it to be burned up… he takes it out at just the right moment. That is what God is doing with me. He allowed me to be put in the fire, but He did not leave me. At just the right moment, He will pull me out of the fire.
I imagine this was harder for my parents because they live a few hours away. But they have made so many trips to Double Springs this year. Day trips. Sleepovers. My Mom has stayed with me weeks at a time when I was too sick and recovering from surgery. My Dad never complained about bringing her to me and having to be on his own all week.
My sisters, Stacey and Tina, have uplifted my spirits many days by just the normalcy of daily chats (and Snapchats).
How do you put into words that something so awful can bring so much good?
GRACE.
God has shown me so much grace this year. He has healed me from cancer. I’ve been able to work. I’ve been able to go to church. Honestly, I’ve never felt so loved in all my life.
I didn’t want Eliza to remember this as the year I was sick, so when I was able, we did things.
We made memories.
Blake took us camping for the first time (right in the middle of chemo treatments) and you know what? It was fun. We went to the movies. We went to Rock City and the Aquarium. We went to Disney on Ice. We walked in our town’s Paint the Town Pink for breast cancer awareness.
And let me brag on my husband just a tiny bit.
I am so thankful that I have had Blake to lean on. I can’t imagine anyone else that would care for me the way he has. I know it’s been a tough year for him too, but when it came to me, he was there. No matter what. I truly believe we are closer today than ever.
So when I look back at this past year, I don’t see the hard times. I don’t see myself sick on the couch or recovering from surgery. I don’t see the tears and exhaustion.
I see grace.
At the beginning of my journey, I resolved to try my best to glorify God in every step of my journey, and I hope to glorify Him in every day of my life.
