Guest Post with Jada Smothers: The Hard and High Call of Mommyhood

Mommyhood is hard. In fact, it is very hard and has an enormous potential to be an ugly mess. However, it is also the best, most worthwhile, hard thing I have ever done. I am a mom to 4 amazing children: Titus-age 8, Maylie Grace-5, Jude-2 and Karis-3 months. I can’t even begin to describe just how much I love them and how I am so glad and grateful that I get to be their Momma!!!! God has truly blessed my husband and me with these 4 awesome little people! Though I do have to say these little people can be very trying to care for. I want so bad to be that soft spoken, calm, cool, collected mom who never raises her voice, whose children always obey after the first time and never whine or pitch fits but is always on their best behavior. However, that is not me or my children! Sometimes I feel like the total opposite of that. I struggle to have self-control when my children do something like dump out a whole bottle of glue onto the carpet (which happened yesterday). I struggle to calmly tell my children to please just stop aggravating each other for the one millionth time! I struggle to have patience with the child who wants to complain and refuse to do their math work because they have 10 extra problems. I struggle to calmly teach my toddler that we are not going to have a total melt down EVERY SINGLE time he is told no. So in a nutshell I struggle DAILY to be this mom that I want to be. And here is what I have concluded…I just can’t do it!!!

First of all, I can never be the perfect mom that I sometimes expect myself to be, but moreover, I cannot be the Mom God has called me to be…ON MY OWN STRENGTH. I cannot shepherd and train my children toward God without the grace and help of the Lord! These hard “momma moments” have taught me that my greatest need in mommying is for Christ to give me His strength to show His love and grace to my children. I have to have the grace of God to show my children that yes, Jesus is real and yes, He can change mommy’s sinful heart into a heart that can show love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control even in the trying times. God has used my children to reveal to me sin in my life. Through them I have been humbled and I realize my GREAT need for Christ and that is a good thing. My children have taught me that I need God’s grace not just for salvation but for the EVERY day, every moments of my life! And when I lose it and my flesh takes over to sin, I can admit my sin and seek forgiveness from God and from them. And what is the why to all of this? Why do I want to have this joyful, self-controlled etc, disposition? So that my children won’t be scarred by having a crazy mom? So that others will say what a great mother I am with such obedient children? NO and NO. It is all about a bigger picture…

We must preach the gospel to our children with our words and with our actions so that they will hopefully and prayerfully one day know God and then in turn make Him known! We are called to be ambassadors for Christ-to be a representation of Him! We get so focused on the here and now and this day, this moment, that we forget to look at the big picture. We are raising the next generation, who will raise the next generation, who will raise the next generation and so on. We have such a great influence on the world around us and on the generations to come. What a blessing that God has chosen to use us in our ministry as mothers to make a difference for His kingdom, for His glory. Being the moms that God has called us to be could be the very avenue that God uses to raise up many mighty warriors for Him. Notice I said the moms GOD has called us to be.

We must not get caught up in this world’s notion of what a Mom is called to do and be. I think sometimes we try to be more than what God has called us to be! God has not called us to be at every event, to have our children playing and doing every single sport or activity that they so desire. God hasn’t called us to do everything and anything that is ever asked of us. God has not called us to have an impeccable house that looks like it came off the boards of Pinterest. God has not called us to raise children who never make mistakes. God has not called us to raise children who fit in with every one and are never thought of as different. On the contrary, we have been called to raise children who ARE different from the rest of the world!! We are called to primarily, diligently teach our children the ways of God, not the ways of the vain things of this world. We are called to do our best to raise children who KNOW HIM AND MAKE HIM KNOWN!

Therefore Let us daily “come boldly to the throne of grace that we may receive mercy and find grace to help” us as we minister, serve, shepherd and teach our children about the God who changes lives all for His glory! To attempt it on our own strength is an ugly mess!

1If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. 2Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. 3For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. 12Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, 13bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. 14And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. 15And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful. 16Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. 17And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Colossians 3:1-3, 12-17

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Guest Post with Jada Smothers: The Hard and High Call of Mommyhood

The Gift of Grace

I think it was Heath's third Father's Day when Isaac had just turned two that we realized we weren't in Kansas anymore. Sunday mornings are hard anyways. Throw a toddler in the mix, and it's like trying to stuff a T-rex into a minivan. Things get complicated. Both of our attitudes had flared up that morning. I can't even remember what Isaac did to create the firestorm, but what still lingers in my mind is the level of guilt we felt as we drove to church that morning. After all, it was Father's Day, and the day had started out so badly. 

Since then, we've had many more of those Sunday mornings...and Tuesday nights and Saturday afternoons. I can't possibly count how many times I've stared at the ceiling at night, thinking, "It's not supposed to be this way. Everybody else makes this look so easy. Everyone else knows something I don't." 

Suddenly, I started realizing what had become of me. I had placed a tremendous burden on my child. Suddenly, his behavior, health, intelligence, patience, what he ate, how I birthed him, how we raised him...it was all a measurement of my worth as a mother. It was all a measurement of how much I loved him. I had made him a representation of myself. What a load to carry for a child of two!

The devil celebrated that day because he had found a way to get through to me.

Moms, I see you where you're at. I know you're tired and exhausted, wondering if the piles of laundry and loads of dishes will ever end. I know you feel overwhelmed. I know there are times when you wonder if you were cut out for this thing called motherhood. I know you stress over the future of your children. I know your heart cries out to God on a regular basis just wondering if you're doing this right, if you made the right choice, if you're doing the right thing. I know there are times when the devil tries to make you question everything you used to know to be true. I know there are times when you feel so low, you don't know if you'll ever make it through. I know you find yourself taking things out on special people just because you've held it in all day. I know that you are trying to figure out who you are as a woman now, not just a wife and mom. I know you ask God "why" on a regular basis. I know you put on a brave face. I see you.

But, mama, as hard as it is to comprehend, we weren't designed to have it all together.  In fact, God desires us to need and crave his discipline that refines us, his mercy that forgives us, and his grace that protects us. Just because we are believers doesn't mean we are free from pain. Think about the Bible for a second. Was Ruth free of hardship? What about Joseph and Abraham? If God used regular, ordinary people to illustrate the most precious book in the world, he can use us. He's using us right this very moment. First Peter 2: 20-21 says: "...but if, when ye do well, and suffer for it, ye take it patiently, this is acceptable with God. For even hereunto were ye called: because Christ also suffered for us, leaving us an example, that ye should follow his steps:" If our lives were perfect, if we never went through any trials and tests, how could his grace and mercy manifest themselves within us? How could our faith emerge, giving us strength and a will to continue on? How would we project to the world that Jesus's blood actually does give us peace and sets us free from mental condemnation?

My prayer for us today is that we learn to give ourselves grace just as Jesus has shown us grace. Our children need us because they need God. We are all born into this world with an innate desire to please ourselves, and lofty expectations of perfection will only lay the ground work for anger and frustration, denial and despair. And just as our children aren't born perfect, we will never reach this perfect level of motherhood that we might dream about. Only Jesus's blood and his gift of grace can set us free. This is the only expectation we can expect to be fulfilled. This is the only free and perfect thing ever created.

You're doing a good job, mama. Don't ever give up. 

"My brethren, count it all joy when ye fall into divers temptations; Knowing this, that the trying of your faith worketh patience." James 1:2-3

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The Gift of Grace

Thankful for Grace

Before I get started, I want you to stop what you're doing and pray with me for a second. This is a new blog, and this is my first post. Pray with a sincere heart that it deeply touches people in a way that will bring them self-discovery, freedom, peace, and joy through the Lord and his Word. Pray that through this ministry, we will crave a deeper connection and commitment with the Lord. Pray that this happens for me because that is the first reason this blog was created. The second was for each and every woman out there searching for some peace of mind in this whirlwind of life. If two people read this blog, that's two people who now know they have a friend in the fire.

I need daily recognition of God's grace. Sometimes I need to remember that the God on the mountain is still the same God in the valley. 

I have been a mom now for almost four years, and let me tell you, you don't know grace until you become a mom. Sometimes, all I run on is grace, and through Jesus's blood, I have the honor and privilege of doing just that. Through him I don't have to have it all together all the time. Through him I don't have to have all the answers. Through him I can let go and let him take control. Through God's grace, we get a glimpse of the bigger picture and that the mundane things we expect and take for granted are limits that we put on God. God is bigger than any expectation we can put on ourselves today, tomorrow, and twenty years from now. God is bigger than the tears you cry and the bar you set for yourself and your family. God is bigger than this preconceived idea or dream you had for your life. God is bigger than the fear and awe that you have over his plans for you and your family.  

When Paul was struggling with his thorn in the flesh as it is written in 2 Corinthians 12: 9-10, Jesus said, "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness." Now, think about Paul's response here. He had asked God to be delivered three different times. He could've said, "Wait a minute. That's it? I've waited for an answer, and you're not even going to take this away from me? You actually WANT me to endure this? Why? What for? Is this going to give me a huge reward in the end because if not, I don't want any part of this." I don't know about you, but sometimes I fall prey to the idea that with good deeds, God will magically erase any hardships in my life and that when I mess up, I'll get punished and God will somehow love me less. It's so easy to become a victim of this mentality. How many of us have set up this idea of treatment and judgement from God? But humble Paul responds accordingly: "...therefore will I glory in my infirmities...for when I am weak, then am I strong." His honest, pure grace is all we need. When we are weak...when we're at the brink of crumbling and wanting to give up...that's when God is his strongest. 

God knew that Mallory Hood would need these verses. He knew from the very beginning, even before we were all born, that we would need this story illustrated and brought to life by Paul. I praise God today for this simple bit of scripture, and I'm thankful for Paul in the example that he set for us all. There is more freedom found in these verses than all the peace treaties that have ever been written combined.

My prayer for us today is that we will have the confidence and strength to accept God's gift of peace and redemption...his grace. I pray that the capacity of our brains will widen in order to accept that salvation is more than just heaven...it's a renewed state of mind whenever we choose to see that it's there, free, waiting for us to grasp. Even when things we can't control are coming at us faster than we can register, God is still there with his hand outstretched. Instead of wanting to let go and give up, we've got to let go and take God's hand so that He can reveal his glories to us in his own way and in his own time.

-Mallory

"In raising children I have lost my mind but found my soul." - Lisa T. Shepherd

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Thankful for Grace