One Day, You'll See: A Letter to My Little Girl on Mother's Day

Caroline,

I'm blessed to call you mine. Your presence completes our family. Before you got here, our lives weren't near as enriched as they are now. Your smile, each laugh, each new word...I feel like each and every single thing you do is a gift from God, and I'm soaking it up because I know this stage is short lived. You'll begin to develop your own little personality soon enough, and we will have our moments. Just wait. You'll see.

But for now, I'm the person you love the most. I am there to pick you up when you bump your head and kiss away your tears. I am there to teach you how to take your first steps and to make you laugh with all your might. I am there to rock you to sleep and comfort you when you're scared. I'm there to feed you your first foods and get you ready for the day.

But one day, things will change. One day, you'll see.

One day, I won't know everything anymore. I won't always be the answer to your every need. I won't be the first person you want to tell your secrets to. My jokes won't be funny anymore. One day, you'll search for your independence in the strangest of ways. One day, we might not understand each other too well. One day, you might shut me out. One day, you won't need me as much. You'll see.

One day, you'll say, "I'm ok," while you slip to the bathroom to cry. One day you will let go of my hand, and give it to someone else. One day you won't need me to help you get to sleep, and you won't ever admit that you're scared or lonely. One day, you might question everything you know, and your friends will give you more advice than you allow me to. You'll even start to question what a real friend is. We'll probably fuss over what you're wearing as you rush out of the house. One day, you'll see.

One day, you'll hate how you look. You'll get your feelings hurt, and you'll wonder what God's purpose is for your life. One day, you'll feel like you're not good enough. People will make you cry, and you'll beat yourself up. One day, the devil will try to convince you that God isn't real, God doesn't love you, and that you don't belong. He'll say that you're not smart, not pretty, not funny, not talented enough. He will tell you that your mistakes aren't forgivable. One day, you might even start to believe him. You'll see.

But one day, you'll learn.

One day, you'll need me again. You might even call me ten times a day. You'll see that I am just a regular person and that I make mistakes just like everyone else. One day, you'll call me just because. You'll cry on my shoulder because life isn't happening exactly like you thought it would. You'll see me as an equal, a friend. One day, you'll ask me to go everywhere with you. You'll text me before you go to sleep, and you'll reveal every fear you have. One day, you will want to share clothes, and you'll buy me lunch. One day, you'll understand how much I love you. One day, you'll see.

One day, you’ll see that the things that once made you "different" are now the things that make you unique and original. You'll learn that it's better to be yourself than who you think people want you to  be. You'll learn that compassion is the greatest gift you can give anyone…that the most intelligent person in the world is the person who knows there's so much more left to learn. One day, you'll surprise yourself. One day, you'll see.

And one precious day, I pray, you'll discover who you are in Christ. You'll see that it's an ongoing honor--a humble journey--to be one of His. One day, you'll learn to feel comfortable in your own skin. You'll cut yourself some slack and give yourself some grace. One day, you'll smile at the things that used to consume your mind, worrying you until you couldn't sleep. One day, you'll warm up to this thing called life and realize that it's not all about us. It's not about us at all. One day, you'll see that God's love will never give up on you. One day, hopefully sooner than later, you'll see.

But one day when you’re older, you'll be beside yourself in diapers, laundry, and dishes. You'll have arguments with your husband, and the devil will make you feel resentful. You'll lash out at your kids and then feel sick about it afterwards. You'll feel like you'll never measure up to the ideal perfect mother. You'll be more exhausted than you've ever been before in your life. And at night when the devil tries to prey on your mind, he will make you doubt your love and you'll question if you're making a mess of everything. You'll beg, "Why is this so hard, God? I feel like I can't get it all done. How am I supposed to be a good mom, a light for you, shining bright for all to see, when my lamp has nothing left in it to burn?"

And then you'll remember my words that my mama told me all those years ago: "You're doing a good job. You'll miss these days. You will. Just give it time. It's going to get better. Lean on God’s grace. One day, you'll see."

I love you, Caroline. I might not always be around to experience every milestone or see every dream fulfilled, but know this: I pray these words will follow you wherever you go. Always allow the Lord to give you strength. Keep your heart clean and spirit renewed, and never forget that you are fearfully and wonderfully made.

-Mama

But those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will run and not grow weary, they will walk and not be faint. Isaiah 40:31

Create in me a clean heart, O God; and renew a right spirit within me. Psalms 51:10

I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. Psalms 137:14

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One Day, You'll See: A Letter to My Little Girl on Mother's Day