Mary

This morning as I reflected on my 32nd year and simultaneously watched the kids tearing into their gifts, I pondered on how this past year has held many unplanned changes and detours for my family, and how unfortunately, I didn’t always encounter them with the best behavior.
Approaching 33 this year has my mind on Christ and particularly on Mary and how few years she had with her son. See, I like to think of Mary as a special needs mom who was visisted with tales of a royal, immaculate birth and a diagnosis all in the same night. I wonder if she was scared. After all, she was a poor teenage girl. How could this be?
Mary, did you know?
I wonder if she felt shame. What will people think? I wonder if she woke during the night strategizing. I have to protect him. I wonder if she worried she would mess up. What if I fail as a mother? 
Motherhood is a messy mission. We fantasize of championing over our children, dressing them in adorable clothes, feeding them the best foods, and modeling the perfect behaviors. Nights are sweet with clean little children all tucked into their beds after story time. Never any whining or grumbling.
Motherhood is never like what we expect, and I imagine Mary felt the same way at times. Oh, what I would give for Mary to have written a book on her life with chapter after chapter detailing her experiences raising the Son of God himself! What we could learn from that.
However, the few--yet powerful--glimpses we see of the ultimate matriarch were nothing close to a beautifully curated Instagram page. Jesus was born in the hay outside in a shed or cave. His clothes were scraps of rags. Mary had no nurses or fluffy robes to lie around in. No coconut water. No comforts of home for Mary the mother of Jesus.
If Mary was adored and "highly favored" as the Word explains, why do we seem to lose faith and struggle so much when we go through periods of suffering and grief?
"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me--holy is his name." Luke 2:46-49
I believe Mary did know she was doing weighty work with Jesus. She knew it would ultimately come down to death for Jesus, but she gave her all in her motherhood journey. She watched her beaten, torn, publicly humiliated son stand in for you and me, and she endured it with grace. She didn’t Google or text five of her best friends. While she prepared her heart for this heavy work, she nestled her thoughts in her heart and "pondered" on them. I find myself so often demanding to have it easier. I so often turn to the world to feed my desperate need for connection and security.
Are you going through struggles that will ultimately lead to God’s glory and edification?
There is no perfect parenting manual out there, but the Word provides all we need to live free through God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrificial love.
You are not alone in your struggles. God orchestrates beauty out of our blunders and our messes. He is your strength when you are weak.
Mary herself recognized she needed a savior; have you? Have you recognized the great need of Jesus in your life today?
"For God so loved the world, that he have his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16

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Mary 

The Perfect Regift

Everybody look at the camera and smile!

I'm restraining my son. My daughter is looking miserably bored. I'm not even sure my husband is looking at the camera, and my slip is visible. At first, I thought this photography session would be the farthest thing from successful, but when I saw the outcome, I was captivated by how much fun we were having when we thought the photographer wasn't taking pictures. I've never loved a photo session more. If only this is what life always looked like in reality.

Life rarely feels like a Hallmark movie, does it?

Being a good mom looks different for us on any given day: having well-behaved children, throwing Pinterest-perfect parties, healthy kids eating all of their vegetables, owning a beautifully decorated home, having an amazing post-baby figure, brilliant kids who are always making good choices...

These are truly great things and beautiful goals to achieve; however, most of the time, motherhood looks a lot like cleaning up messes, running here and there (possibly late), preparing endless snacks, washing sippy cups, finding lost toys, battling it out at bed time, fighting back tears (ours and our kids'), and feeling tired.

Add Christmas expectations into the mix, and we're likely to feel pretty lousy as mothers during the "most wonderful time of the year."

Unfortunately, our fragmented understanding of happiness and success is almost always tainted with our idolatrous expectations centered around pride, jealousy, comparison, perfection, and plenty.

And we all fall short.

Two thousand years ago, God sent Jesus as the only perfect person who would ever exist. When he died, he died for the sinner (Rom. 5:8), He died for the grudge-bearer, the proud, the depressed, the worried mother who stays up hours researching cures for her child. He also died for the mother who, hungry for connection and acceptance, chooses the world over Christ too many times to number. He died for the mother who idolizes her children and places blame on herself. He died for the envious, the burdened. He died for you and me.

He rescued us and won our freedom from the Perfect Mother Wars, yet we hardly ever see the Holy Spirit as the Perpetual Prize, the ultimate gift under our Christmas trees, that we have the opportunity to rejoice about year round.

But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. Ye have heard how I said unto you, I go away, and come again unto you. If ye loved me, ye would rejoice, because I said, I go unto the Father: for my Father is greater than I. (John 14:26-28)

I don't know about you, but I don't always feel like rejoicing--even during Christmas.

Perhaps your kids are grown, and you feel lost without them. Maybe you’re wrestling with your Christmas budget or figuring how much importance you should place on Christmas decor. Maybe you're feeling like you're not doing enough to help your kids learn about Jesus. Maybe your family just received a painful medical diagnosis. Perhaps your attitude resembles the stinky onion in the trash. Maybe you have lost a loved one and have no clue how to celebrate Christmas anymore. Maybe you thought you might have a pregnancy or engagement announcement to share. Maybe you’re spending Christmas alone this year--again.

Maybe you’re wondering if God is even listening.

Unless we allow God's Word and his comforting spirit to light up our hearts, we're likely to stay tangled up in the metaphorical Christmas lights of our lives. Everyone knows how hard it is to escape when tangled up in sin, but once sorted out, the magic behind each glimmering light on the Christmas trees of our hearts will make it worth it all.

No matter what season we are in, we can rejoice for God's free gift, his Holy Spirit. 

Even in the times when rejoicing seems another life away, the Holy Spirit can turn us from bitterness and discontentment, helping us to reroute our plans and accomplish God's purpose with repentant, humble, grateful hearts. 

Goodness knows this is hard! 

Thankfully, God knows when we struggle. "Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words." (Rom. 8:26) What a blessing to remember during this season when emotions are heavy and stress is high.

This year, if you’re having to pray, beg, even gravel for your Christmas spirit, never forget the Holy Spirit, the counselor and friend who will comfort your aching heart during those times when Christmas seems so far away.

By focusing on contentment and joy in the Lord instead of ourselves and allowing the Spirit’s honest, convicting, comforting light to shine on us and through us, it's like mesmerizing Christmas lights--his light bounces off of us into others' lives (2 Tim. 2:21). This has the potential to light up the world. 

What a perfect way to regift God’s love!

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and he helps me. My heart leaps for joy, and with my song I praise him. (Ps. 28:7)

Let God light up your life! Remember Emmanuel, that God is actually with us. When we gather and pray in the humble reflections across the dinner table, in the wee hours of the night, in the altar, in the pew, in front of the sink, on your knees, those moments of repentance that break us and reshape us, glory is waiting there. 

Jesus meets us there in those dark places, ready to shine and bring light and warmth back into our hearts. His light purifies, warms, and brings life into our cold bones. His light alone is everlasting, and through his sanctifying spirit, our hearts can ignite, regifting God’s light and glory to those around us.

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The Perfect Regift