This morning as I reflected on my 32nd year and simultaneously watched the kids tearing into their gifts, I pondered on how this past year has held many unplanned changes and detours for my family, and how unfortunately, I didn’t always encounter them with the best behavior.Approaching 33 this year has my mind on Christ and particularly on Mary and how few years she had with her son. See, I like to think of Mary as a special needs mom who was visisted with tales of a royal, immaculate birth and a diagnosis all in the same night. I wonder if she was scared. After all, she was a poor teenage girl. How could this be?
Mary, did you know?
I wonder if she felt shame. What will people think? I wonder if she woke during the night strategizing. I have to protect him. I wonder if she worried she would mess up. What if I fail as a mother?
Motherhood is a messy mission. We fantasize of championing over our children, dressing them in adorable clothes, feeding them the best foods, and modeling the perfect behaviors. Nights are sweet with clean little children all tucked into their beds after story time. Never any whining or grumbling.
Motherhood is never like what we expect, and I imagine Mary felt the same way at times. Oh, what I would give for Mary to have written a book on her life with chapter after chapter detailing her experiences raising the Son of God himself! What we could learn from that.
However, the few--yet powerful--glimpses we see of the ultimate matriarch were nothing close to a beautifully curated Instagram page. Jesus was born in the hay outside in a shed or cave. His clothes were scraps of rags. Mary had no nurses or fluffy robes to lie around in. No coconut water. No comforts of home for Mary the mother of Jesus.
If Mary was adored and "highly favored" as the Word explains, why do we seem to lose faith and struggle so much when we go through periods of suffering and grief?
"My soul glorifies the Lord and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior, for he has been mindful of the humble state of his servant. From now on all generations will call me blessed, for the Mighty One has done great things for me--holy is his name." Luke 2:46-49
I believe Mary did know she was doing weighty work with Jesus. She knew it would ultimately come down to death for Jesus, but she gave her all in her motherhood journey. She watched her beaten, torn, publicly humiliated son stand in for you and me, and she endured it with grace. She didn’t Google or text five of her best friends. While she prepared her heart for this heavy work, she nestled her thoughts in her heart and "pondered" on them. I find myself so often demanding to have it easier. I so often turn to the world to feed my desperate need for connection and security.
Are you going through struggles that will ultimately lead to God’s glory and edification?
There is no perfect parenting manual out there, but the Word provides all we need to live free through God’s grace and Jesus’ sacrificial love.
You are not alone in your struggles. God orchestrates beauty out of our blunders and our messes. He is your strength when you are weak.
Mary herself recognized she needed a savior; have you? Have you recognized the great need of Jesus in your life today?
"For God so loved the world, that he have his only begotten son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." John 3:16
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