You know the thrill of going down a roller coaster?
You’re incredibly terrified, gripping the sides, white knuckles and all. You can’t even seem to breathe.
You’re dizzy, and everything is a blur. It’s so loud you can’t hear a thing. You just know you’re about to be sick.
Your hair is in your face and your stomach is in your throat.
"What am I going to do?" you ask.
You feel completely out of control.
Wherever this things takes me, that’s where I’m going.
You just have to believe you’ll get there in one piece.
And for a split second, you’re wishing you hadn’t gotten on. Everybody else makes it look so fun, so easy.
On this ride, one minute you want to laugh, and one minute you want to cry. You're not so sure how you should feel.
Your emotions are all over the place.
You feel rattled, exhausted, jarred from screaming...inwardly, outwardly...it all starts to mesh together.
Each second lasts an hour.
But then you let go and let God. You turn a corner, peel open your eyes, and raise up your hands.
You follow the course until you finally come to a stop. You get off and look back at your seat and say, "Did I really just do that?" You look at the person who rode beside you. "Did we really just do that?"
And you laugh...you catch your breath. You check all your limbs and realize you’re alive.
You had truly lived. You had let go, reinquished control, and had the time of your life.
Then you come to the conclusion that sometimes being vulnerable is okay. Sometimes losing control and screaming at the top of your lungs is okay. Sometimes losing your senses is okay. Sometimes getting out of your cushy comfort zone is okay. Sometimes asking someone to ride with you and hold your hand is okay.
Sometimes you just to have faith and trust that you’re going to make it to the other side.
And before you know it, you realize life is one big paradox. You feel brave in your vulnerability and strong in your weakness.
Before you know it, you're not so scared anymore.
Before you know it, you want to ride again.
That’s what being your mama is like, little boy.
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