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| Ashley Oliver Photography |
However, she went on to explain that she didn't believe her daughter when she said she had let the bath water out of the bath tub, but she actually had. This, in turn, made the mom feel like she needed to apologize. Because of her mistake, she took the time to sit down and tell her daughter that sometimes mamas and daddies mess up and need to apologize. So actually, the daughter humiliated her mama in a way that left the mother humbled, and humility is a perfect place for God to work.
I'm thankful for this lady's honesty in sharing this little bit of her life because how many of us have been wrong before with our kiddos? This little story sent me straight back in time to when I felt the need to apologize to my little boy for a mistake that I had made.
Isaac has some difficulty expressing his thoughts sometimes, so he doesn't always get out what he's thinking. He had told me he needed to use the bathroom, but when we got in there, it appeared as if he had already gone! I was so upset because we had worked so hard with potty training (a year ago this month to be exact), and here I was thinking that we were taking a step backward. So I got on my knees, looked at him in the eyes, and said, "Isaac, did you go potty in your pants? Tell me the truth. Did you?"
He just stared at me and said, "No."
I kept pressing him and asking him, "No, you're going to tell me. Did you do it? You know you're not supposed to. You go to the bathroom in the potty. You know that."
The tone of my voice had him tearing up. "No," he said again as he shook his head. He just stared at me and then at the ground. He looked defeated. He looked like my heart felt.
By this time, I was too frustrated to argue. Fear was gripping me. We had just brought Caroline home, and he had been having some trouble adjusting. It seemed like he wasn't eating hardly anything at all, craving attention, he was starting to wake up at night sometimes, and now this? Potty training was something I was not prepared to tackle again. It had made me a nervous wreck the first time! (One hormonal meltdown, coming right up!)
"Lord, I can't handle this, too. Not with a new baby." I took a deep breath and looked at his pants. They were obviously wet. I had seen all I needed to see, right? The truth was there, and my mind had made itself up. But when I looked at the back of his pants and underneath, I saw that he was dry. I looked at him again and said, "Isaac, do you have to go to the bathroom?"
He nodded his head for yes.
Then it dawned on me. Relief. He had been playing in the rain puddles outside, and because he likes to get down on his belly and push his trucks, the front of his pants and bottom of his shirt were wet. I should've seen this, but I was too tired, too exhausted to prevent myself from jumping to conclusions. How often do we do this with God? How often has the truth been right in front of us, but our vision has been clouded with fear and anxiety, causing us to search for our own answers and rely on our own superficial conclusions? How often do we forget to stop and let God take the reins?
So, in tears, I got down on my knees and said, "Isaac, why couldn't you just tell me? Why couldn't you just say, 'No, Mama. I didn't potty in my pants.' Why didn't you just tell me? I'm so sorry."
And after this, he looked me straight in the eyes and said so clearly, "I don't know what to say."
In that moment I sat back against the tub, laughed/cried, and began thinking, "Lord, he told the truth! How many times have I done this? How many times have I been wrong as a parent? How many times have I jumped to conclusions instead of simply trusting?" I had made something small and insignificant into a mountain I wasn't mentally and emotionally prepared to climb. I felt terrible and found myself questioning, yet again, my ability to be a good mom.
After he went to the bathroom, we hugged, and with a smile he said, "Wanna go outside?"
How easily he forgot my mistake. How innocent his heart. How strong his love.
That teachable moment turned into a discovery of God's miraculous, healing love, the power of our relationship, and the extent of his love for me, for us all. How many times has He willingly forgiven me and wiped away my tears, always showing me the innocence of a child when I show him my faults...faults He is already aware of but promises to forget once I beg him to? How many times has his love been revealed to me when I crumble and say, "I'm sorry."? But that's the beauty of God. He desires our humility--that of a child to be exact!
"And Jesus called a little child unto him, and set him in the midst of them, And said, Verily I say unto you, Except ye be converted, and become as little children, ye shall not enter into the kingdom of heaven. Whosoever therefore shall humble himself as this little child, the same is greatest in the kingdom of heaven. And whoso shall receive one such little child in my name receiveth me." Matthew 18: 3-5
Ladies, my prayer for us today is that like the little children Jesus speaks of in Matthew, we find the humility within us to kneel at Jesus's feet for every desire, every need...that we discover God's teachable moments are all around us, each and every day. How thankful I am of Jesus modeling what forgiveness and grace looks like for me--for my sake. Because of his healing, forgiving nature, I can search within to find those same qualities in myself. Because of his example of grace and mercy, I can recognize in myself the kind of wife and parent I need to be. Does that mean I won't ever have to work at it? No. Does that mean I won't mess up? Absolutely not! Psalms 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." He is more than enough! When we lose control...lose faith...He is there to mend our flesh and our hearts.
Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Just as my heart pleaded for my little boy to explain the truth that day, God wants us to come to him and pour our hearts out to him. Our babies need to see us needing God, calling on him, seeking his help, wisdom, discipline, and forgiveness when we slip. This way, they will willingly find the desire to welcome that into their own lives with us as their parents, and ultimately, with God as their savior.
Hebrews 4:16 says, "Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need." Just as my heart pleaded for my little boy to explain the truth that day, God wants us to come to him and pour our hearts out to him. Our babies need to see us needing God, calling on him, seeking his help, wisdom, discipline, and forgiveness when we slip. This way, they will willingly find the desire to welcome that into their own lives with us as their parents, and ultimately, with God as their savior.
"Who is a God like unto thee, that pardoneth iniquity, and passeth by the transgression of the remnant of his heritage? he retaineth not his anger for ever, because he delighteth in mercy. He will turn again, he will have compassion upon us; he will subdue our iniquities; and thou wilt cast all their sins into the depths of the sea." Micah 7: 18-19
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