Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

"It's a phase," I told myself. No. It's a zoo.

The moments when my babies are out of the loop are some of the purest, rawest, most childlike moments of my life. When I'm standing there desperate, when my heart is an open wound, feeling pulled in all directions, and the cries and screams of my children and the insurmountable lists of to-dos are the salt, those are the moments when I wonder, who is the real child here? 

I'm too weak for this. Too unworthy for this kind of work, Lord. 

"What do you want? Please...just use your words. Tell me what you want!" I didn't understand my daughter's jumbled cries, her fit of rage, so I exercised my authority with another shout.

She tugged on my dress, stomped her feet, and dissolved into a fit of tears.

Breathe. I'm too weak for this. Too unworthy for this kind of work, Lord. 

Hold me. She reached her little arms up, pleading with her eyes.

"Do you want me to hold you?" I picked her up and she nestled into my neck. Suddenly, the world made sense. Hold me.

In her embrace, a thousand words and feelings dripped into my heart like droplets of rain on a dry, summer day.

"Why didn't you just say 'Hold me, Mama.'? Why didn't you just tell me?"

Words were no longer necessary.

My parched soul, oblivious of what my daughter needed in that moment, clung to my little girl and reminded me that I needed to be held, too...that I needed to stop and let the Holy Spirit work in me a new heart, a new attitude, a new hope, and a new perspective--not just on Sunday morning. Sometimes the kitchen floor will work just fine.

We don't always do a great job verbalizing our needs to the Lord. How often do we forget to take care of ourselves? How often do we forget that we need held, too?

I'm not perfect. I can't always read my children's minds. I can't always understand their cries and their words, but I'm thankful God understands me. I'm thankful He knows what I need before I even remember to utter my cry. Romans 8:26 says, "In the same way the Spirit [comes to us and] helps us in our weakness. We do not know what prayer to offer or how to offer it as we should, but the Spirit Himself [knows our need and at the right time] intercedes on our behalf with sighs and groanings too deep for words."(AMP) What power lies in these words!

Thank God for this assurance. What would we do without His intercession? What would we do without His prayers that words can't even articulate?

Whether you're staring at a pile of bills bigger than your grocery buggy, you're wrangling a few toddlers on the church pew, or Laundry Mountain is about to erupt..whether you're facing an unforeseen tragedy, you're too exhausted to pray, you're too angry to give it to God, you're hanging onto bitterness, or you've found yourself in a new season where you're struggling to adjust, you don't have to scream and wail to get God's attention. He is there. Sometimes we simply need to stop, reach up our hands, and fall into his everlasting arms. 

What a fellowship, what a joy divine 

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

What a blessedness, what a peace is mine

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

Leaning, Leaning

Safe and secure from all alarm

Leaning, Leaning

Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

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Leaning on the Everlasting Arms

Guest Post with CeJe Thompson Hearn: Called to Mommyhood in the Trenches

“Longevity isn’t the discussion we have here. It isn’t about long-term planning, it is about quality. You have to begin with acceptance. There IS NO CURE.“
I had carried on a discussion like this before. I had seen a face like that doctor's one other time in my life. I had also seen the smiles like those of the sweet nurses, that smile that makes you want to scream because you feel like they know a secret or that says they feel sorry for you. I didn’t want anyone to feel sorry for us, but at the same time I wanted to fall into their arms and crumble into a million pieces. I’d been here.

I recognized all of this from when I was told by doctors about my mom’s terminal cancer. No one is supposed to live this moment about your child, yet here I was, on Valentine’s Day nonetheless, and I was in that room alone. Surreal is the only description for seeing your son get valentines from volunteers in a Neuro-ICU. I wanted to scream, “We don’t know you and we don’t want this!”

I will never forget how in that little five minute conversation everything in my world changed. I’m not saying that lightly, I mean everything. Did you know that every part of your body can sense fear? I still smell that hospital room, it smelled of the IV meds; the same meds that would define the rest of our days. The sounds in that hospital room would become the steady, beeping sounds of assurance; but also the sounds of fear that my family would learn to live by. The sights of wires and cords from my child’s head mixed with the colorful nature at Children’s Hospital would become an oddity that my son would learn to accept. I still can’t. I was terrified to touch my own child in that moment, but I was terrified to let him go. Then taste, the taste was that kind of taste that was chemical, it was too clean. Every sense was present and enhanced by a million on that day. Even the amount of tears and the volume of the scream that could come from my body was greater. I didn’t want to be here, but here I was. At that moment, I held the newest membership card to a club I didn’t ever want to join, the club of Parents of (what doctors would at that moment call) Dying Kids. Valentine’s Day.

I felt anything but loved and I felt the strong, helpless love of a Mother all at once.

I struggled for more than a year with what happened that day. I still struggle, sometimes it is just day-by-day. I have screamed and I have begged and I have pleaded with God to change my circumstances. I’ve considered every option, even taking my own life, to avoid watching my son suffer and to avoid the life we live at times. I lost sight of everything good. Evil won some battles in my life for a period of time. I wanted the social media, pretty side of “Mommyhood”, but God was calling me to something bigger than my small mind could fathom. I was called to “Mommyhood” in the trenches.

Hope would come though. Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is near to those who are discouraged; he saves those who have lost all hope.”

I received this calling on Valentine’s Day 2015. Since then, I’ve studied what a Mom should be. I had a false idea that a mom prayed for her family, she made cookies, she washed ball uniforms, she planned trips, she volunteered at school, she cooked and cleaned. I knew I was horrible at a lot of that, especially cooking and cleaning, but that’s what a mom did and so I could do those things.

Now there is “Mommyhood” in the trenches.

That kind of momming means praying for your family when you are totally and completely out of words, and wholly dependent on the Intercessor to interpret your groanings. I’ve had to learn that. “Mommyhood” in the trenches meant washing bedsheets instead of uniforms, it means trips to the doctor or hospital instead of the zoo and it means begging a child to eat a bite to avoid a feeding tube.
So why share this on Valentine’s Day? Well, because that Valentine’s Day has grown me into a person who understands that love is so much more than what we understand on the surface.

“You made me suffer a lot, but you will bring me back from this deep pit and give me new life. “– Psalm 71:20

Since we entered the trenches, I have fallen more in love with my husband than I could have ever imagined because he has never left me in the pit alone.

I have learned how much my son loves me and how much I truly love someone who most would say could never give me anything back. My Zach is an example of the purest kind of love and joy. Most importantly, I have truly learned God’s love. I know I will never fully understand His love, but Psalm 86:15 says, "But you, O Lord, are a God merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love and faithfulness." During those nights that I stayed awake and stared, screamed and cried; even as I contemplated ending my life, I had a Savior watching over me. I had a steadfast, faithful, and loving Savior who never wavered. I encourage you, if you are doing “Mommyhood”, or “Wifehood”, or “Friendhood”, or even “Workhood” in the trenches, know a Savior is there waiting on you to call out to him.

2 Peter 3:9 says, “The Lord is not slow about His promise, as some count slowness, but is patient toward you, not wishing for any to perish but for all to come to repentance.”




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Guest Post with CeJe Thompson Hearn: Called to Mommyhood in the Trenches

The Messiest Kind of Love

Don't wait to be happy when the mess is cleaned up. When the kids are older. When your house is spic and span. When the bills are paid. When you get that promotion. When the test results come back. When the house is paid off. When they behave better. When they don't make so many messes. When they aren't so wild. When they aren't so challenging. When they start eating better. When you can afford it. When everything isn't so complicated. When you can finally get some sleep. When you're not so stressed out. When they're out of diapers. When you can go places again. When everything slows down. When the weekend gets here. When summer's here. When they're out of school. When they don't make you worry so much.

When you aren't so busy. 

Because their time is coming.
When they won't nestle in your neck and twirl your hair. When they won't grab you by the face and give you a cheesy grin. When they won't hold your hand anymore. When they won't need you to push them on the swing set. When they won't need that fifth bedtime story. When they won't need you to rock them to sleep. When they won't laugh at your jokes. When they won't be scared of the dark. When they won't look for you in the crowd and wave. When they won't climb into your lap. When they won't tell you everything. When they won't kiss you on the lips. When you can't pick them up anymore. When they won't ask you to kiss their boo boos.

When they're too busy. 

So go play, Mama. Get dirty. Dig in the dirt and breathe in. Feel the sunshine on your face. Catch the fireflies and stay in your pajamas all day. Whisper in his ear and show him how to blow bubbles in his chocolate milk. Spray her with the water hose and listen to her laugh. Sing songs with her at the top of your lungs and play dress up with her. Teach her to curtsy like a princess and teach him to open the door for ladies. Make cookies and get flour on your faces. Color and paint a funny picture with him and laugh your heads off. Tickle like crazy. Dive right into the chilly water. Lie on your backs and stare at the stars. Roll down the hill and get grass in your hair. Turn up the radio and dance in the kitchen. Pray and cry. Dunk your Oreos in your milk. Run in your bare feet. Get down in the grass and look at the bugs. Show him the mountains and the ocean. Scratch his back until he falls asleep, and play tea party with her while you can. This is joy. This is love. 

Forget the what if's and the unknown's. Forget the pressure of kindergarten, middle school, high school, driving, or college. Let go of your expectations. Pray and breathe. Forge bonds with your family and friends or rekindle the ones you once had. Ask for help when you need it. Really and truly love and be loved. Say what you mean, and mean what you say. Forget the fear of not being enough or doing enough. Don't wait for tomorrow; be happy now for tomorrow is just a trick of the mind.

As the Father hath loved me, so have I loved you: continue ye in my love. If ye keep my commandments, ye shall abide in my love; even as I have kept my Father's commandments, and abide in his love. These things have I spoken unto you, that my joy might remain in you, and that your joy might be full. This is my commandment, That ye love one another, as I have loved you. John 15: 9-12

"For My Babies"

You won’t always be little, so I must teach you
now.

You need me to lead you, to simply show you how.

My greatest desire for you is to love and make
friends.

Never forget to give, be kind, and truly make
amends.

Because time is always fleeting, never to
return.

And joy is a choice; respect has to be earned.

First comes the Lord, the ultimate foundation. 

He will keep your path straight and away from temptation. 

Next comes Family then church, friends, and community. 

Don't ever for a second forsake this irreplaceable unity. 

Hello, how are you, please and thank you

Yes ma'am and no sir are all important, too.

Be kind and honest; this is what matters, you
see.

Unlock your true happiness; grace is the key.

For remarkable beauty, plant a seed of hope

To truly change your life, to see the grand
scope.

Be the person you wish you had always been.

Be thankful God gives us grace; he pardons our
sin.

Live in the moment or the chaos will turn to sorrow. 

Life is too short-lived to dwell on your past and your tomorrow.
Walk in the light, little ones; be humble and strong.

Cling to the Lord, for he can do no wrong.

Life is too short to live in doubt and fear. 

Never cease to pray; always keep the Lord near.

Live a good life, and keep your mind on things from above.

And, dear ones, if you ever happen to forget, the answer

is always love.

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The Messiest Kind of Love

The Greatest Show on Earth

Sometimes the circus comes to town, and you just have to watch it. It's loud. It's crazy, and everything is really expensive. People are setting things on fire over here and caged animals are running through hoops over there. Everyone's singing at the tops of their lungs, walking on tight ropes, flipping, and dancing around while you cram animal crackers in your mouth. Over stimulated? That's an understatement. Frazzled? You know it. 

But it is mesmerizing. It's so beautiful it takes your breath away. And in a New York minute, it's over. The music, dancing, the childlike exuberance is gone. 

And one day our kids will be grown. And we will wish we could sit by the bathtub cramming animal crackers in our mouths one last time. 

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The Greatest Show on Earth

Our Souls Were Made to Crave: Guest Post with Lindsey Whitten Overton

               

               Are you as tired as I am? I mean, does your laundry pile have a bottom? Where do all of these plastic cups come from? I swear, our neighbors must be dropping off a few extras into my sink! Between trying to be a good wife, chasing after the kids’ activities, managing our household, going to church, working, remodeling a house, going back to school, and all of the other things I manage to get myself into I am EXHAUSTED!

                I did not used to feel this way. I have considered the possibility of, “I am just getting older…”, but let’s be honest, I am in my 30’s. I should still have the energy to do everything God has called me to. If Sarah can have a baby in her 90’s, surely, I can handle my little crew at 30, right?

                A friend recently said, “You seem like you have it together…how do you manage?” I wanted to crumble and cry and tell her the truth, which is I am scraping by; however, I mustered up a superficial answer that I can’t even remember. As the words came out of my mouth they were bitter and immediately regretted.

                What has happened to me…where did my joy go? What about my zest for pursuing God’s heart or following the Lord on crazy adventures? Where did the positive attitude go for serving my family?  Why has picking up after my husband become something that stirs up an attitude of resentment or anger? Where is this all coming from? Ladies, please tell me that I am not alone. I have to believe other moms must feel this overwhelmed feeling too.

I sat down to do my quiet time recently. As I opened my bible, I realized, wow…it has been weeks since I sat down to actually study. Not days, it has progressed to weeks. The Holy Spirit spoke so loudly to me that I looked around to see if anyone else could hear. The WORD…my soul was starving! I had neglected the one thing that I have built my life around. The one constant in my life, the source of strength, the power to face challenges, the hope for my future, the joy of my day…Jesus.

When we operate in our flesh, our physical, everyday lives, we are leaving Him out. Because I hadn’t found my place and I didn’t understand his plan for me in Alabama, I became frustrated, which led to bitterness, and ultimately left me feeling overwhelmed and empty.

Romans 8 teaches us that if we walk in the flesh, we think only on those things. If we open our eyes and walk in His spirit, we live and think in the spirit. Later it says that the spirit’s mind-set is life and peace, whereas the mind-set of the flesh is death. Here it is sweet sisters, the answer to why we are feeling overworked, overwhelmed, dissatisfied, etc. We have to connect ourselves to Jesus every single day. He is the source of a full life and a peace-filled heart.

Our souls were made to crave…what are we filling it with? As we walk into this new year, my soul is set on a new course. I am choosing life and peace. I don’t know about you but those feelings of “death’ are too much for me. I do not find any joy in that! I need and want more out of life. If you are looking for love, acceptance, encouragement, peace, hope, whatever your heart is craving, look in the Word of the Lord, the source of everything our souls could need. He is waiting patiently for you to come and sit at his feet. He longs to spend time with you today!

If you have questions, want to know more about walking with Jesus, or would like someone to pray with or encourage you, I would love to talk! My cell is 229-400-5810 or you can email me overtonlindsey@gmail.com .
Be blessed, dear sister. You are loved far beyond what you can imagine!

James 4:8 “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”

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Our Souls Were Made to Crave: Guest Post with Lindsey Whitten Overton

Slow Food for the Soul

I jokingly refer to everything as food when I'm teaching. Whether it's commas on both sides of an appositive being compared to two pieces of bread on a sandwich or talking about the "meat" of a good essay, food is my go to. People can relate to food. Hey, we're always hungry, right? We have to have it to survive. It can in one minute be the thing that sustains us, and the next, it can be what makes us sick. Sometimes, our food is tampered with before it gets to us, and we "think" we have control over it, but we don't. Sometimes we go to certain "feel good" foods in order to make us feel a certain way whether we're happy, sad, or nervous.
Food is vital to our physical bodies; without it, we can't survive. However, sometimes food can be a real thorn in our flesh. Sometimes if we don't make good decisions with our food, that daily donut could very well lead to diabetes.
But sugar...it's an addiction! Caffeine! Carbs! Who am I without you!?
For as long as I can remember, I've noticed that when I'm in a rut, I go to carbs. Carbs are fast. They give us a surge of renewing energy. Don't you love them too? They make us feel excited and help us get through the day. The thought of a PayDay between breakfast and lunch makes my whole world light up! What joy a little package of sugar and peanuts can do for you.
Similarly, when I'm in a spiritual rut, I tend to focus only on the "carbs" of God's Word--the parts that will make me feel good fast and give me an energetic new perspective on whatever I'm facing. I need it quickly, too. In my rapidly changing day, I need something pocket-sized and zippy. A podcast here, an Instagram verse bedecked in flowers there. I need renewal, but I need it fast.
And yes, all of this is good!
However, oftentimes I miss out on what God has for me. So often we head straight to the "fast food" section, often missing out on the "meat" of the word. The good stuff that takes time to cultivate, season, and prepare takes a while to chew on. Sometimes it's tough, and it might not even digest easily. Sure, who's going to choose raw vegetables over a sugary donut? Vegetables might not give us a zip in our step, but they're full of life-giving water and vitamins, things our bodies need to keep moving and thriving. That roast in the crockpot takes hours to prepare, but think of the sustaining energy we receive from its nutrients.
Because of my busy-ness, I have found I tend to opt out on the "tough, slow stuff" that can sustain me like nothing else. The meat of the Word will help keep me on my toes, fit in terms of grounded in the Words of the bible, and full--really and truly satisfied--with my life and where God is taking me.
So ponder this question: Are we truly full and satisfied on what we're "eating" from the bible?

Just as it takes discipline to eat right and several days, weeks, and months to develop a good habit, it takes time in the Word to develop the skills we need to survive in this world and honor God's desire for us. 
Everything we read shouldn't send us straight to the spiritual Dairy Queen. Sometimes, what we discover in the Word is tough to handle, understand, and we might even need help in the kitchen!  We might need to seek additional guidance to understand everything we read. Too often, if we can't get the oven to work, we stop trying. (guilty) We give up. (guilty) We'll let Grandma sort it out. (guilty)Sometimes we need to consult the manual or the cookbook! (Okay...I get it...I went a little overboard with my metaphors...)
I need to grow up in God's Word. Sometimes I don't always act my age. After all, I'm responsible for teaching my kiddos healthy habits. Sometimes we expect our husbands, parents, pastors, teachers, and friends (or even the internet!) to teach and take care of our spiritual life for us, but that's not all God wants out of us. He wants us to explore the Word in order to discover who He is so we can therefore see who WE are in Him.

And he humbled you and let you hunger and fed you with manna, which you did not know, nor did your fathers know, that he might make you know that man does not live by bread alone, but man lives by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord. Your clothing did not wear out on you and your foot did not swell these forty years. Know then in your heart that, as a man disciplines his son, the Lord your God disciplines you. Deuteronomy 8:3-5

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Slow Food for the Soul

This Is My Story, This Is My Song

Sometimes if Heath and I ever want to chuckle, we start reminiscing on our days when we first got married...how we made it through the week on $50 worth of groceries and how our furniture and everything we owned were hand-me-downs. We chuckled about the walks we would take after supper because we had nothing but time. And oh did we think we were big when we got our first 30+ inch flat screen! Everything was simple. That newlywed stage is so precious. You can pretty much survive on air and water.

We had nothing, but we had it all.

Had I known that I would look back one day and miss those simple days, I would've cherished them so much more. I remember being pretty consumed with the future and all the things I wanted out of life that I rarely stopped to realize I was making memories. Because I was always focused on the next big thing or event, I rarely took the time to soak up that time of our lives, and now, I miss it. That first year and a half in our little house is a blur. Who was that girl? I don't even remember her anymore.



Another home, two kids, and a dream come true later, I find myself in survival mode quite often. I find myself longing for that newness...plans...craving that season of life I used to have in my grasp but couldn't even enjoy because I couldn't foresee the rapidity of time. I miss it so much that I've found it has made me somewhat bitter in my soul. Whereas I used to live in a state of perpetual excitement and spontaneity, now I find myself living in a state of exhaustion and anxiety wondering if I'll ever have another day to truly rest. Wondering if the kids are going to be okay. Wondering how Isaac will do when he goes to school next year. Wondering who's going to come to the house when it's in the middle of Hurricane Isaac and Caroline. Wondering why the thought of going to the grocery store is just about as mentally exhausting as actually going. Wondering why I am so boring now. Wondering why I find myself complaining more than praising.

I call it Mom Tired.

A lot about life is learning to appreciate what we have, and sometimes, it's just plain ole hard.



But what we have now is something beautiful. It's unique. It's precious. It's our story. It's our song. What we have now we will never have again. Sure, it's hard. It's really hard! And mamas, that woman down the road has her own version of "hard." Sure, I've been victim of eyeballing other ladies' levels of "hard," but what we don't see is that ALL women are battling with the enemy in their own ways. We never know when someone is looking at our lives questioning our level of "hard." We're human, and the enemy is going to remind us of this until we allow God's grace to show him up.



It's not our job to figure this out. God already has.

We only have this one life to live, and God is the only source of pure joy that can replenish our empty hearts when our selfish instincts tell us we need something fulfilling from the world. Somehow, the more we think we need, and the more we eventually get, the more we have to worry about and the more unsatisfied we are. The more we think we need to make us happy, the less we are relying on God to fill that void that the enemy bores into our minds. And he will bore away until he gets in.

Matthew 6: 20-21 says, "But lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust doth corrupt, and where thieves do not break through nor steal: For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also." 

My prayer for us moms today is that we become more aware of where our treasure is and of the memories that are being made in our daily lives right under our noses. Most of us are tired, frazzled, and mentally drained. We try to do it all, and we try to do it well. But there's more with the Lord. My hope for us is that we can learn to be more present and to see the bigger story that God has already imagined for us. He's still working on us!

"Quiet down, cobwebs. Dust, go to sleep. I'm rocking my baby and babies don't keep."

- Ruth Hulbert Hamilton

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This Is My Story, This Is My Song